I get it. I finally get it.
I've been in denial for almost 17 years. An quite frankly, I'm good at it. That and avoidance. I'm the master. I've wanted to keep Jacob at age 10. Even younger if I could. Hannah? Well, I could have bottled her up too. I admit it. I'm having a hard time letting go. I have been going through premature empty nest syndrome for the last four years and I'll admit it: I haven't handled it well.
But last night, last night at Jacob's Ball Hockey/this isn't a real birthday party party....I had an A-HA moment.
I sat for two hours in the kitchen of the church gym. I watched 7 boys play ball hockey. They played hard. They cracked jokes, they wrestled, they scored, they laughed. They were boys.
I've known most of these boys for a long time. And I really like them all. Nice boys, each one of them.
But it hit me.....they're on their way. They're on their way to being men. And as I usually cry tears of loss, this time I cried tears of joy. Corny but true. And I get to be apart of it.
This collage is an example of how many photos it takes to get 'thee' shot. As a photographer, I'd take the last one. As a mother, I'm keeping all of them. I want to remember these boys as they are right now.
These boys have no idea of how much they gave me last night. But it is a memory that I will keep forever. I will however, erase the memory of the smell of the sweat:)
Have a wonderful week everyone.
I am so blessed.......